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The current year represents a full decade since the word “ghosting” entered the public consciousness. Initially, the idea that someone could instantly end contact with a partner without any notice seemed like the pinnacle of disrespect. Our innocence was charming. In the decade since, seeking a significant other has only become more perplexing – an frequently pointless pursuit in embarrassment that is increasingly defined by social media jargon.

Zoomers, a generation who came of age during a social isolation epidemic, a male identity reckoning, and a widespread challenge on the freedoms of women and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic terrain than their Gen Y predecessors could ever imagine. And so their dating glossary has grown more extensive and more bizarre, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” testing the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

What follows is a detailed glossary to the phrases gen Z is using to navigate love, sex and the pursuit of both. To channel one of the year’s most enduring memes, by the conclusion of this list you’ll ache to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – According to gen Z, dating’s gold standard is presenting as your real, unfiltered self. Best wishes with that!

B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon loosely based on a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you mention something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your partner’s reply is interested or disinterested. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Independent partner – Gen Z’s response to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend puts herself first while radiating mystery and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

C

Chair theory – This means seeking out someone who helps you unprompted. If you entered a room, they would get a seat for you to sit down.

Choremance – A outing where two people connect while doing chores, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained twentysomethings do low-cost dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Crashing out – Melting down when you feel burdened by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or split, dumping all of your unreciprocated emotions.

D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a symbol of 1980s yuppie affluence, it describes pairs who choose against having children to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

E

Vulnerable signaling – The opposite of being guarded: utilizing dialogue, transparency and vulnerability.

F

Signals

• Danger signals – Behavioral traits signaling a prospective partner is not right. For instance calling their exes unstable, poor gratuity habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Green flags – These quirks affirm your decision to date a partner. Examples include following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, low screen time, owning a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These typically describe specific, mostly inoffensive quirks. For instance being an keen ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their bag, paying the rent in cash …

Shared obsession pairing – When you meet someone who’s just as enthusiastic about documentaries about the WWII or physical media hoarding or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who loathes the same stuff or individuals that you do (nothing builds closeness faster than having a nemesis).

G

Geese – A musical group your gen Z boyfriend is into.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of ghosting.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and loyal. The uncommon boyfriend who is liked by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online community of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, deliberately delaying orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A mindset describing many women's increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An archetype championed by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who apparently has no aspirations of her own other than pleasing her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Random and frequently trivial repulsions that instantly shut down any sense of interest.

“He would if he cared" – Something to remember after you watch someone else get an incredibly sweet display.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd seek out partners in sectors they believe are being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, educators or counselors.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, scientists learned that kissing has existed for 16m years. But the days of kissing may be limited since some gen Z prefer fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy authentic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more important than it is. Also known as {